Read on….

Today I will speak on matters of my heart, where it can be found, where it wants and needs to be and why, and where it will stay  until my last breath has escaped my lips. I feel as though this is necessary so there is no confusion as to how and why I feel the way I do.

My heart: it beats just as everyone else. It pumps the blood through my veins day in and day out. It does not rest, it does not falter, it does not fail me. The currents in the beat are strong, powerful and give me physical life. My heart is healthy and in all its might, there is also another side to it. My heart beats with yet another purpose, a purpose beyond the comprehension of many in society. It beats continuosly for all in my life percious enough to grab it, maintain it, and cherish it. This is why I live, I live to tell the stories others cannot. I am here because without those few, I would not be any different then Jo-Shmoe off the street.


My heart, and the truths held in it can be found within my partner. He holds the key to unlock its deepest desires. Yes I know I have spoken of my purpose in life, it is for the growth of others. Now let me explain a bit further on how my heart feels when speaking of the growth, how those choose to go, and how my heart remains. There is always a piece given to those that find growth from me. It is not a large piece, yet it is given non-the-less. Those that choose to grow and then experience life without me, yes they will always be special to me as I have learned from them as well. It is a give and take to which neither it harmed the other, only end up separated after a period of time. My heart has the strength to do this with a number of people and only for a brief moment do I feel a loss. After there is a wonderful feeling of accomplishment inside me and I smile knowing I have helped in whatever small way I can. This does not mean my heart in its entirety does not belong to someone…………

My heart belongs to a wonderful man! I am completely and wholeheartedly bonded to him, without a question or doubt in my mind. I would have it no other way. From our first meeting and until I die, this man will be and is forever my greatest love. The love is not conditional towards him, it is a total complete love that sees the good as well as the not so good. It is a love that holds true to the meaning of unconditional as even when one or the other is upset, angry, or sad, the love is still there and does not fade. Why my heart needs this love? Because without it, I am not whole. I am only a half a woman walking around. I need my love because he fills the tramendous hole in not only my heart but also my soul. If he was to ever leave he would take with him the greatest part of me and no one after would be able to have it. This is due to me giving it to him comfortably and willingly as he deserves it. He deserves my heart and my soul! Why does my heart want this man? He is kind. He is intelligent. He is charming. He is compassionate. He is funny, can make me smile no matter the mood I’m in. He is handsome, sexy, and desirable. He has a heart filled with love and hope. He can lead and direct a family to wonderful experiences. My heart wants this man and his love because it is truth and trust, it is uncensored, and it is respectful. My heart wants this man because he is a good man, he is a real man and to me, he is a Superman! I could only hope and dream to ever be his Louise Lane.

My heart will always be with this man whether he chooses to stay with me or if he chooses to move on. My dream is for him to stay and be happy with me and perhaps maybe the doubts I may have had before would actually turn into my fairytale ending. The doubts I speak of are not ones of questioning a love so true and binding, more of a will to be able to allow a love so true and binding to be given and received on both parts. Despite the past, looking beyond the tragedy of losing other loves and finding a peace within one another. Finding a solidarity that unites two souls and cannot be split apart, broken, abused or taken advantage of. He speaks of a grand love a love worth challenging death for, a woman whom feels as he does. And I say this to him, if you have not found that in me, than the post I made previously stands truth written.

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