Silence is the worst thing ever for me. There is nothing worse than trying to correct a way of character or a train a way of thinking and hearing nothing but silence. I can not stand it. What Dom on this planet would use silence as some sort of punishment? This to me the worst most sadistic creature. Made up of nothing but demons and misery, a Dom like this should be shunned out of the community.
Reasons why I am given silence tonight, it could be a punishment however my gut is telling me other wise. It is telling me he has other more pressing affairs to attend as he is rearranging our dynamic behind my back. I just sat through an hour and a half of him blowing fire on me, taring me up and down about how terrible of a sub I am, how we fight because I evoke a reaction out of him, I need to make up my mind if this is what I want, I am to blame for every single fight we have had, I have to correct my manners towards him and I need to adjust my attitude, blah, blah, blah. Making me feel less and less of a person that is supposed to be a major part of the Doms’ life. Ha not the case because here I sit getting the silent treatment like I’m in grade school. I requested on several occasions to not have this long of silence, told you what it does to me, asked and yelled that this never be a form of punishment.
Hope whatever was taking you away on this night was important enough to you. I hope it was worth it because I am throwing in the towel. You win, you have chased me away. My heart is bricked up once more. This has happened more times than I can count with you. I cannot do this, I’ve spoke on how I felt multiple times about leaving me in silence makes me feel and does to my mind and yet you still do this to me. That is fine because at least now I know how you truly feel. You simply do not care to have how I feel, included into this dynamic and if that is the case then the only thing left to do is walk away.
I cannot leave though as I have made a promise to never do that again. I always keep my promises, so this is what I will do…no more will there be contact from me to you unless you initiate. No longer will I be at your beck and call, this means you will wait for the response I give you deleting the quick time it took in the past. Or better yet I will still respond in a timely fashion, I wouldn’t want to be accused of playing mind games. I will be the prefect little sub for you still. I will do all that is required of me yet without the love! My love will be hidden, away from site, with you. As you became cold and malicious towards your ex, you have pushed me to resemble you now. Do as you must it now makes no never mind to me. My profiles will become private, you will not know of anything I do in detail, and you will not be able to hurt me again. I have closed off all emotions save this letter, with it goes the last of my anger and hatred for you. The perfect robotic subbie you have now. So whenever you decide to spring this new chick into what was supposed to be our dynamic, I’ll be ready with straight face and no feelings. I will be rigid, cold, and unfeeling while in your bed as well. So it is probably a good idea if you find others anyways. I will find others to occupy my time as well. It is not hard to find a dude willing to just be there when beckoned for. They are already crawling all over me on cupid.
I have lost it all in your silence tonight!!!