Life has a funny way of working out. It all falls together like puzzle pieces. We are all meant to walk a certain path in life and in doing so we accomplish what we perceive as happiness. I have found my happiness, in life and with a partner. I consider myself to be one of the lucky souls, to have what I need and to be cared for among all the others that have neither or just one of the two. When I was in my teens, running around the streets with my friends, I called it my ride or die man. When I was older it became my soul mate. Now where I am in life, it all seems to fit into a much bigger scheme of things. What I have now is better then all of them, I have a witness to my life.
This past year has been a beautiful roller coaster of excitement. I have found a new appreciation for Valentine’s Day, due to my partners guidance. He has shown me that not only can he fulfill my wants and needs in everyday life but also on this special day there can be more to experience. It is a day to pay special attention to the one you love and appreciate them for who and what they are. Settle in together and be wrapped in each others warmth, simply amazing. Before him I had a stern outlook that Valentine’s Day was the silliest holiday. My thought being, if I can only be looked at on one day that I am special, I do not want to practice it. So for a good many years I did not celebrate it. Until he has shown me I am special everyday, which makes this one day, Valentine’s Day all the more wonderful.
I have had the chance to watch the most amazing man I’ve met change and grow. He has climbed his way out of the shadows of evil and darkness, to shine brighter than the stars above. No longer is he kept down by the hands of a demon and when this demon tries to pick away at his spirit once more, he is strong enough to remain at peace. This demon I will write of soon as I am quite certain I have not shared the story of when, how, and why we met. Not only has he forgiven all that he went through but he has also come to terms with what he wronged as well. Now is his time to shine and with me as his submissive, there are no limits. He chose me to walk with him and ride along in his world of wonder to which I am eternally grateful. I could not have asked for anything more and still get all I dream of and more.
I have also changed much this past year. There were many ways that I tripped yet he was there to guide me back to where I should be. Between the grand trips we have traveled, to the stay at home romps in private, I have never been so cared for by any other. Although I have had ups and downs in this past year, I know without a doubt I am where I was meant to be, thankfully. And I know I owe most of this gratitude to him, my Sir. I cannot be all that I am without my service to him and without him giving me the chance to be exactly who I am. I am weird, funny, silly, passionate, caring, nurturing, and all with a mean streak that can cause a grown man to cry. All of my great traits shine bright and he is the only one that has been able to curb my unruly side.
From here on out, I will be referring to my partner as Sir, since this is what he is called by me in day to day life….
So many stories have been shared together of our pasts. Between the absolute wonderful to the despicable evil, and in knowing of our pasts we can go forward into our future with new eyes. Stories of childhood abuse and our peers treating us as if we were aliens. How Sir was at a loss for his mothers’ nurturing and I had the greatest. The differences in how we view topics and how Sir and I try to understand the others perspective. Stories of past relationships and how and why they failed. Learning and growing from our own mistakes during those relationships, whether sexual or not. Sharing our past sexual experiences and stories to further how we want to explore and treat one another. Sir’s grand design for where his direction is going and how he keeps me informed on the turns he his taking.
All of this has helped me with my areas and the times I self-doubt. Although if you ask Sir, I claim to not have any self-doubt, which is true, I do not speak of my doubt out loud. My ego will not allow me to admit this and yet I do know it is tyere. There is no place for an ego in a submissive life to which I am now well aware of. Pride yes, but ego must be left at the door or it has the potential to destroy. My ego was large in the beginning. It kept me from my true potential as a submissive and now that I look back, I see some of the ill effects it had on the dynamic. My ego distorted reality and had me believing in things that did not even happen. It troubled me for some time and now that Sir has brought it to my attention I fully understand what he meant. My ego had to go and it needed to be replaced with pride. I now have pride in myself and my service to him. I wear all my collars, (the special, the work, the play) with pride and service to him in hopes that my actions and demeanor can project what a wonderful Dominate he is. Sir has always said, he could never understand why none of his other submissive could see it as he tried to teach this important factor. Why could they not let go of their ego and allow their pride to have a bigger place, which there can be only one answer that makes sense to me. They were not ready to be taught nor were they the right submissive for him. Sir has me and will keep me throughout his days. I am the one he was looking for, and he tells me we shall never part.
We went camping for a few days last year. Sir and I had 2 tents, one for us and one for the kids. It was rainy the first evening and night there. Omg I will never forget it. We had a hard time finding dry wood for our camp fire so Sir brought out his electric saw and started cutting down dead tress. A turn on for me because not only did he solve our wood problem he also had power tools, lol. Well the kids tent ended up leaking like crazy and by 1am, with it down pouring rain and a chill in the air, the kids forfeited their tent and slept in the car for the night. Of course I got them settled in as comfortable as they could be in the back of a hatchback car. Poor things, soaking wet and shivering from the rain, but we all made it through. When I got back into our tent, Sir made sure he warmed me up as I was soaked from head to toe and shivering so bad my teeth were chattering. Let’s just say Sirs method of warming me up kept a smile on my face the rest of the next day despite the drying out of the equipment and blanket laundry I had to do. I tell this story because it is a great example of our dynamic. Sir on one hand did all the Dominate manly chores, collecting wood, tending the fire, making sure we were protected from animals and giving us direction to follow. I worked well in my domestic duties to feed our family, keep the children occupied and make sure we all had as many comforts as we could out in the forest. It was a well worked dynamic of love, respect, and service.
As the time grows near for us to close the distance and end this LDR we have been in, Sir and I are completely ready. We have come so far from where we began and as he says it is now time to be one. To live together not because we have to or out of some sort of necessity, but because we want to. Because we need and want to be together in life. Sir needs me close everyday just as much as I need him to be around me. To end our nights in one another arms and wake again looking in those same eyes. To share and reap the benefits of a dynamic to true and so pure, nothing will be able to stand in our way ever again.