As I still read about submission through various sources, I come across many different perspectives. Recently I have come to notice there are many out there that just throw kink into their lives and call it BDSM. Well to me, kink and rough sex is just one aspect of a dying lifestyle. All of these new found “white night Doms” and there subs topping from the bottom, well it just drives me crazy at times. I have joined groups that come off as legit groups for BDSM, only to realize it is mostly about kink and who has the best selfie for the day. Not many speak on the foundations of what the D/s or M/s dynamics actually hold. If one tries to speak on ways of the Old Guard and the traditions of the past, many speak up to interject how those ways have long gone and some even say it is barbaric to practice the lifestyle in that manor.
I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s where the household of the 50’s had almost been completely wiped out. The men were not the only ones to go out and make the income, now the women did a well. Leaving the house to its own devices when both parents were at work. Women no longer had the duties of the domestic, causing an equal partnership to form in all aspects of living. I want to bring back the old days where the women raised the children and kept house, while the men brought home the financial support for the family. I have always wanted this, and I believe this is why I have a strong urge to be in a D/s relationship. In my early years my mom did stay at home taking care of her domestic chores, raising 4 children, and keeping harmony and balance in the house. All the while, my father went to work and brought home the bacon, so to speak. I remember they would discuss adult matters, she would give her input and he would be the one to make the final decision. It flowed very nicely. It was D/s at its basic forms and possibly without the kink, yet I cannot be sure I do not wish to speak with my mom on her sexual life.
So as I turned 18 I thought I had also found this type of relationship with my ex husband. We married and I was the house wife and he the money maker. We lived for a few years discovering how to make this work and that is when I even started to experience some of the kink sexually. With his guidance I followed his direction and did it proudly and unquestioning. Needless to say that did not work out and I swore off any other type of commitment like that, believing it was harmful and a waste of time. My thoughts were no man could want to be the financial support for a family any longer so why would I be the domestic support. I switched roles and found someone to become dominate over. He was a nice man, except the way I treated him was borderline abusive. Not to mention, I was not happy in that role not by a long shot. I hated being the one to make the decisions and lead the family in life. I was not good at it. So once again, I left the BDSM world and carried on with fuck buddies from time to time.
Anyway the whole point to me writing this is that I wish there are more publications about the BDSM traditions and founding principles rather than published kink. I have done enough kink with my Sir, and more to come, now it is time to write of the Old Guard. Leaving the kink and sexual stuff for others, I will not share my most intimate details on my page. It is good for some to do that, don’t get me wrong. I do enjoy a good story from time to time, revs up the sexual desire. Plus I think it gives the newbie an insight on what they can expect or what they may want to try when they are just beginning. I am not here for that sort of information. I am here for the intellect and background of it all. So if there are others out there looking to get insight on some history or beliefs of old, keep reading, you will not be disappointed.