It’s a choice, period! It is about defining who you are and who you want to be. Much like the Geisha, submission is a form of art, a mindset that brings release to those that truly believe and practice it. With all the articles i have read, and all the people i have spoken with, i have brought them all together along with my training to explain what i believe it to be in my mind.
submission as defined; the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.
This is the base line and foundation of submission. It can be taught however i have seen that it is not the same as if one is naturally a sub(missive). As i can only speak on how i am, i can account for my feelings as being a sub down to my core, a natural. i was started at a young age during my failed marriage. Although he and i did not know of the BDSM world, we played our roles and i enojyed it, for the most part. i had a deep desire to do as i was instructed on a daily basis. i stayed at home and cared for the domestic aspect of our lives. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, raising of the children, and grocery shopping. my submission went as far as bathing my ex, having him choose clothes for me to wear and guidance in the bedroom. He taught me to open my mind to new experiences and to never let our sexual bond together grow boring and cold. He gave me directives to complete and i would do so with pride. It was the only way i knew how to live.
Submission is to give ones will, their thoughts, emotions, and in most circumstances, financial responsibilities over to the Dominate figure. The Dom then takes all of these and entwines it all into the dynamic as They, the Dom, sees works best for all. In giving ones will over to the Dom, the sub then has the feeling of release and comfort that they will be looked after and even taught to grow and learn. The sub takes great pride in giving their submission because without it the dynamic will not have a solid bond.
Submission is freedom. The freedom to give everything that is had emotions, thoughts, short-comings, ego, and chaos to the Dominate figure and having Them put it all into perspective for you. The sub shares everything with the Dom and has faith and trust all will be sorted and used to the advantage of the dynamic. In submitting, one tells secretes as if they are talking to their best friend, the sub should hold nothing back.
Yes! I saved this a while ago and I am just now reading it again for posting. Well gee didn’t I just have it all figured out, nothing left for me to learn. Huh, that’s a joke! Okay so I know much information on how and what a sub is. Informatiom on how the D/s dynamic works, and yes I will say I am a natural submissive still to this day. However, with the Dominate I have and the situations W/we are going through, I now see I have a ways to go.
So I will start again and say; in submission there is freedom, and it does mean to give ones will over to a Dominate, there is no wrong in that. I myself found there are many parts to completing the role of a sub if one truly tries to obtain excellence. It is not only about being given a command and following it through. It is not only about keeping to the domestic duties. It is not only bathing your Dom or laying out his clothes for the next day and making him a healthy lunch. It goes far beyond all of this. To truly submit to another one has to put everything they believe in, everything they used to have trust in, and not only leave that behind but also give it to another hoping they can guide and lead the sub throughout life without damage. Recently, over the past few months, I have went on a journey with my Dom/partner. We have been D/s and We have been vanilla, and back and forth a few times according to what the situation or dilemma happened to be. This was not totally the choice of my Dom, yet more needed due to wrong actions taken on my part. A break of my submission because I did not fully trust in His decision. A break of protocol because I became upset or angered by a direction He had choose for U/us to be in. This is not true submission. Once it is given it should not be used as a tool to get what one wants, then it would not be the Dom handling the affairs of life and yet the sub doing it.
As I am now in a vanilla type situation so to speak, I have come to realize following is the hardest application of giving submission. Trust and faith that he can lead us in the right direction means the most to us both. With my submission given, accepted, and then how I took it away, all leads me to my final understanding of a D/s dynamic. To lead is to be followed without question, without comment, and without reservations. A Dom cannot be whom He is without this. A sub cannot embrace her natural calling if she picks and chooses what she would like to follow.